I was dreaming, I was pretty sure, about nothing much at all. I just remember that at some point, the phone started to ring, which was a bit odd because there was no phone anywhere to be seen in whatever place I was when I was dreaming. I didn’t think to check my pants in the dream, because you never really think about ordinary stuff in there, do you? For all I remember, I couldn’t have not even been wearing pants. Then I realized, maybe I wasn’t dreaming at all and my cellphone was actually ringing in the real world. So I suddenly startled, I think, into that semi-awake state most people stumble into in the morning, being not really sure if I was still dreaming or not. The phone was still ringing, but being me, and seeing it was still pretty dark outside, I thought: no, this is way too early for this shit, I’m not going to pick up. If it’s important they can leave a message and I’ll get to it when I’m actually definitely not dreaming, because I’m still not sure if I am really awake. For all I know, the phone might not actually be ringing and it really is just me dreaming and why would I bother picking up a non-existing phone? Come to think of it, I never picked up a phone in any dream I remember, so maybe that’s one of those things you can’t do in dreams like read or only see faces you’ve seen in the real world.

But then I realized, what if it IS really important and something happened to someone I know? I mean, I’m awake right now, probably, and being me, I’m not going to fall asleep again, so, I might as well just pick up. Because right now, there’s only two options: the first is, I’m actually still sleeping, so picking up that phone is just continuing the dream and maybe I’ll get into some wacky conversation with Anna Kendrick or Kermit the Frog, maybe both at the same time. The other is that I’m actually fully awake and my cellphone is actually ringing, and the worst it could be is some stupid salesperson which I can just tell to fuck off right away because dude, it’s five in the morning on a Saturday, who in their right mind calls at such a time to sell something? So then, it probably wouldn’t be a salesperson, right? Because it must be illegal for them to call so early. So it probably IS important!

Of course, by then, the phone had stopped ringing. I looked at my cellphone that I somehow had grabbed already. How did that happen? I mean, I know that I have that autopilot mode and my muscle memory knows perfectly where my phone is next to my bed on the stand, but still. This feels like it just appeared in my hand, so maybe I am sleeping after all. Ah, fuck it, might as well just take a look at it. Except I couldn’t, the battery had died.

This blog was brough to you by: Pentatonix – Daft Punk